The Fish Amendment

One of my children (who shall remain nameless) is a bit needy.    She/he asks me multiple times per day how she/he looks.  She/he asks me multiple times per day if I like her/his hair, clothes, makeup, shoes, fingernail polish, shoelaces, socks, smile, self portraits, etc., etc, etc, etc, etc...   Yes, I appreciate that my child talks to me, but just don't have the energy & I never have the right answer!!


A negative response gets me in trouble.
Suggestions for change get me in trouble.
A positive response  leads to more questions.  The follow-up questions always get me in trouble


I have resorted to taking the fish amendment. Let me demonstrate.


"Mom,  do you like this shirt?"
"Shark"


"Mom, does my hair look as good as it did the day we had french fries for dinner and I forgot to put salt on them?"
"Giant Kelp Fish" 


"Mom, does my toenail polish match my socks?
"Squid"


"Mom, which of these 700 pictures I just took of myself do you like the  best?"
"Ocean Sunfish" 


I have learned that my response doesn't really matter.  It's attention that is being asked for, not an honest opinion.  It's not perfect, but it works.  You can't argue with a fish.